Pulchritudinous Agony
by Naruto-is-Sasuke's
Summary: Narusasu, angst. This endless torment. The scars in his heart. Deceit. What did he do to deserve this? He had given up everything he had in order to be with Naruto, only to lose him in the end. But how could you lose something when it was never yours to begin with? It was as if an old wound had reopened, only now the pain had increased tenfold.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello!**

**To those who have read my other discontinued series: **I apologise for stopping it, but I seem to have lost my plotlines and the next chapter. If I ever find it, I will continue the series.

**_*important* :_**This is not a sequel to anything, I just found it more relevant to start the short series like this. It's understandable if you haven't quite grasped the story, since I just wanted some angst and started this.

**Warnings/things you should take heed**: Major angst ( in my opinion ), rash decisions, self-harm, thoughts on death, yaoi, etc. Boy on boy. **Narusasu. Some ooc x sasuke**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Sasuke ran, his eyes blind to his surroundings, yet somehow he knew the way to where Naruto was. His heartbeats synced with his footsteps – rapid and swift – and Sasuke could almost feel his heart bursting out of his chest with need.

A desperate need to see Naruto.

A form of joy sparked slightly inside the raven; it was Naruto's birthday, and Sasuke couldn't wait to see him, to give him presents, to hand him the birthday card. After that, he had practically sprinted 5 miles over to the blond's place, and still running.

Although many might've felt exhausted for sprinting so far, the young Uchiha was boosted with more energy as he thought of his friend's reaction to his news. How will Naruto react? With that huge, foxy grin of his, a pat on the back, something … more? The thought caused a hint of colour to appear on the raven's cheeks, adorning his milky pale complexion. He hugged his papers and birthday card closer to his chest, uncaring of how childish and girly he looked.

Panting, the corners of his lips curved upwards when he saw the building that Naruto lived in, and through a particular window where he'd usually briefly see orange clothes strewn across the floor, he was only met with white curtains that prevented him from any view. A little confused, Sasuke wondered if Naruto was sleeping, but shook the thought away as quickly as it had come; even when sleeping, Naruto had never pulled his curtains together.

Curiosity and confusion left Sasuke as soon as he leapt up the stairs, excitement quickly morphing into nervousness. The card he held to his chest he had spent a long time working for. All the money he had spent on buying boxes and boxes of cards, trying to write the right message but not trying to sound too sappy, or too desperate. In the end, with only 8 cards left, he had decided to sum up his feelings in three words.

'_I love you.'_

Panting softly, he stood by the door, the loud beating of his heart drowning out any other sound that he might've heard. Finally he had figured out his feelings, and had the courage to tell his friend. Finally he was able to be with him.

The love of his life.

Sasuke had decided, that even if no one accepted their relationship, he would do anything just to be with Naruto; his smile, his beautiful azure eyes, his golden blond hair. Sasuke was ready to throw everything else away.

Sasuke knew he had left Naruto standing there, rejected, but he was determined to make it up to him. Sasuke decided that he couldn't just be friends with benefits anymore; it just wasn't enough.

Surely this will start out to be a blossoming relationship, and the young Uchiha would finally have love instead of only lust.

He lifted his hand to knock, but realised that Naruto wouldn't have it that way; he would want Sasuke to treat his apartment as his own. Smiling softly to himself, he opened the door –

– lifted his dark yet shining eyes –

– to find Naruto's body on top of a woman's –

– and their lips pressed tightly together in a passionate kiss. At first, Sasuke didn't know what to make of it. Everything that had happened ever since Naruto had confessed his feelings flashed into his mind all at once. Was it true? Was Naruto really playing with him after all?

Was Orochimaru telling the truth after all this time?

Had his heart … led him the wrong way?

The image burned into his mind, etched into his heart, entwined in his soul. It seemed as if Naruto still hadn't noticed, being the biggest idiot he was. What had Sasuke done wrong? His heart, beating so rapidly and lively before, felt like it could burst any moment with the sudden pain that stabbed it; a million small pricks to Sasuke's body, dangerous yet invisible to the naked eye.

With his mind completely shocked, his body reacted with the same emotion. He dropped his papers, along with the card, which he had put everything into. At the sound of the rustling of papers, Naruto's head turned around, not fully registering what was happening.

"Ah … I just came … uh … to …your … bir …" Sasuke's eyes stared at anything but Naruto's face, a smile plastered on his own, a smile so fake that even a two year old could see through it. His eyes looked wet, but he forced his tears down; better not show weakness in the enemy territory. Better not show weakness to the one who made you cry. Sasuke's eyes darted around, and accidently lifted to meet Naruto's. At that, his smile faded, horror showing through his onyx eyes, and his expression twisted up in pure agony. "…Sorry."

The raven backed away slowly before twisting around and stumbling through the door, just missing Naruto's terrified expression by a few milliseconds, not bothering to listen to Naruto's explanations. The image was enough, it was more than enough. He couldn't bear to see it anymore.

Sasuke ran and ran, almost as fast as how he had before. Everything around him was a blur now, another world to him. He just didn't care anymore. His energy had been spent running to Naruto's house, but the pain kept him going. _He had promised to never leave my side. He promised to never leave me alone. _Thoughts akin to those spilled onto his mind, and memories of both Naruto and himself entered his consciousness. Sasuke tried to will it away by shutting his eyes, but each time he did, the image of Naruto on top of someone else would scorch into his memory.

It was a mistake, letting that blond in. It was a mistake letting down his walls that he had so cautiously put up. Sasuke had been so stupid. So stupid as to fall for his smile, his genuine appearance. Was Naruto really like all the other men, who would do anything to break hearts? Gritting his teeth, Sasuke turned to an alleyway and collapsed, unaware of his skinned knees and twisted ankle. Only then would he let tears fall, the first since That incident with his family. Funny, since Naruto had promised to not let anyone or anything make Sasuke cry ever again, yet he was the one behind the Uchiha's tears. The promises, the memories, the friendship, the sort of love they had … was it all just one big lie?

Sasuke had done everything for Naruto. Naruto was his first for everything; his first true friend, his first kiss, first almost lover, first to take his virginity … Sasuke's first ever love. Sasuke had lied to his guardian, wagged school, threw away his friends, and did everything in which he had vowed never to do, just to be with Naruto.

It was all a waste.

The raven could feel the raw pain eating away at him. Was this what he deserved for choosing Naruto over everything else?

Choked sobs escaped from dry, bleeding lips, and Sasuke huddled into the corner, hugging his knees to his chest. What did he do to deserve all these memories, and all this pain?

_We … it's not like we were going out or anything. _Sasuke laughed quietly and bitterly. They were never a true couple; after all, Sasuke needed Naruto to relieve his pain, and Naruto needed Sasuke to relieve his sexual frustration. It used to work. They used to always do it together. It used to be more meaningless than this. _We were never together._

The thought burned deep into his mind. What was he getting all upset for? Naruto had found someone; shouldn't he be happy? After all, he was the one who left Naruto standing there without a real answer because of his own fear. Love ... Sasuke yearned it, yet didn't want to feel it because of how much pain it could cause. He thought that if he fell for Naruto, then everything would be perfect. He thought he would live a perfect life, even without everything else. He would be with Naruto at the cost of everything else.

_I had vowed never to love again._

That was his upmost biggest vow, and he had broken it. Sasuke had fallen so hard, and now the blow was more painful than ever. Naruto never bothered to pick him up, just walked away like he was nothing.

Maybe he was nothing.

The world wouldn't notice if there was one person gone, right?

Biting his split lip, Sasuke withdrew a small pocketknife, which he had kept for emergencies like this. Sasuke had thought that he would never need to use it again. Sasuke had believed it.

He had believed in Naruto.

He trusted his heart so much that he had forgot reason, forgot his place in this world.

He wasn't born to love, to have good memories. He was born to feel pain, a pathetic example to the whole world on how pitiful and worthless one can be. A wretched specimen to make others feel better about themselves.

Sasuke hated himself. Hated himself so much for being so idiotic, so lovesick. Hated himself for always being so needy and forlorn. Hated himself for rejecting love, yet welcomed it with open arms the moment somebody would open themselves to him.

Yes, a wretched example indeed.

Sasuke had promised not to ever hurt himself again, but who would care? After all, promises were made to be broken, in Sasuke's case. His whole life was filled with broken promises to begin with.

Staring intensely onto his wrist, marred with already so many other scars, he dug the knife down deeply, feeling a new sort of comforting pain enter him. It made him feel less mental pain, and Sasuke almost smiled contently at that. Yes, this was the pain he yearned for. This was the pain he deserved. He felt warm liquid trickle down his upper arm down his elbow, licking his dry lips before digging in again and slitting it across his wrist, feeling the blood drip onto the dirty cement floor. Dig, slit, trickle, drip. Dig, slit, trickle, drip. He had known this method for so long his body reacted on its own. After some of his internal pain faded away, he opened his wet eyes that he didn't know he had shut. Now that his mind was a little into place again, he cursed, realising that if anyone found him on the street, he would be taken to hospital. Better to die than be rescued.

Better to die alone than around those who had deceived and left him.

Even though he didn't want to die alone. Even though he hated the very thought of loneliness. Sasuke wanted to die so badly, so badly that he would never feel pain again.

_I want to die. I hate this life so much. It's all Naruto's fault. It was him that made me feel like this._

Sasuke had wanted someone else to blame so that he wouldn't feel this useless, but not matter what, Sasuke always knew that all the blame rested on him. It was always his fault, losing so many things. Losing Naruto.

With a groan, he bandaged his wrists. Back then, he had thought that bringing bandages would help those around him; he never imagined that he would need it for himself. He had believed in Naruto so badly: his words, his promises, his smile. Sasuke had fallen so hard. He didn't want to get back up again; didn't want to risk falling in love again, or just love someone; nothing was worth getting thrown back down, forced back down. Sasuke was fated to stay on the ground, like a snake, and never be able to soar in the skies, envying all who did.

After treating to himself much to his reluctance, Sasuke drew up his knees again, hugging it close to his chest as he stared blankly at the floor. He was so preoccupied in staring that he didn't see five figures looming over him.

"Hey, hotstuff, wanna play?" A man, clearly the leader, that was wearing a sleeveless shirt and a sort of crazed look in his grey eyes, spoke to Sasuke with a sadistic smile. Snapping out of his daydream, Sasuke turned and glared.

"Go away."

"Aw, your boyfriend dump you?" Grey Eyes crouched down so closely that Sasuke could smell the alcohol in his breath. Scrunching his nose in disgust, he turned away.

"I'm not a girl." Sasuke just wanted to make that clear, even though he was sure he didn't look like one.

"We know, hotstuff, we know." Grey Eyes motioned the other four to stand over the Uchiha and grab him if needed. Sasuke, still too hurt from the incident, didn't notice.

Slowly, Grey Eyes grabbed Sasuke's shoulders and slowly pushed him down on the dark cement floor. The raven struggled and thrashed, accidently kicking Grey Eyes in the face. Angered, he motioned his minions to catch hold of him while he started ripping off Sasuke's clothes.

"Let go of me." Fear started creeping into the raven's emotions as he suddenly registered the strange look in Grey Eye's eyes, and Sasuke knew immediately that Grey Eyes wouldn't let him go even if Sasuke were to blow himself up to pieces. Nevertheless, the young raven continued to struggle. With a growl, Grey Eyes grabbed Sasuke's midnight black hair and forced his face close to his own.

"I'm going to give you one last chance to play nice with you as long as you play nice with me." Grey eyes glared into Sasuke's own. After that, Grey Eyes relaxed and pulled Sasuke to him, cupping the pale cheek with one hand, thumb running along the tear stains. Sasuke did everything he could to not bite off the other man's thumb.

"Baby, you want to forget him, don't you?" Grey eyes bore into his own, making him entranced. "You want the pain to go away."

Sasuke's heart thumped loudly yet painfully in his chest. The idea was so tempting. Yes, he had wanted the pain to go away so badly.

"You don't want to feel like trash anymore, do you? You want to feel loved. You want to feel special." Sasuke's breath caught in his throat. Just looking into those eyes, it seemed as if Grey Eyes knew everything that had happened to him, and had the urge to make it feel better.

Sasuke wanted so bad to feel better.

To forget about the Sunshine that he lost. But how could you lose something when it was never yours?

"I'm giving you a chance. I'll make your pain go away. You'll feel nothing but pleasure. Just one chance to make it go away." _No, don't listen to him. You know better than that. _Sasuke's heart urged him to stop, beating wildly-despite its wounds-in order to get the raven's attention. Sasuke ignored it; after all, his heart had led him into chaos, into this world of blinding pain. He needed someone to help him take it away.

_No, never again am I going to listen to you, you filthy, wretched heart._

"Only once with you. You'll feel loved." Absolutely lost in those words, Sasuke nodded dazedly, cupping Grey Eyes' face and pressing their lips together. Almost as soon as their lips touched, Sasuke could feel the other's tongue slip into his warm cavern. Sasuke invited it; let the revolting tongue explore the inside of his mouth. Right now, he would do anything to make this deep pain go away.

After the passionate kiss of trying to shove their tongues down each other's throats, they pulled away. Sasuke stared dazedly, a stupefied smile on his face. He pulled Grey Eyes to him, licking a trail from Grey Eyes' shoulder up to his ear, slowly rolling his hips down to Grey Eyes' lap.

"Take me." He breathed huskily in Grey Eyes' ear.

_Take my pain away._

* * *

The sun peeked over at the horizon, making an orange outline over the tall buildings of the huge city. Dawn approached the streets of the currently deserted land.

Sasuke opened his eyes, pushing himself up only to fall back down with a small cry. His whole body was sore and cold from staying the night out on the streets. His lip was cut, and his whole being felt heavy. Coughing slightly, he forced himself to get up despite the pain, and leaned towards the wall of the deserted alleyway.

Grey Eyes and his crew had each took turns to pound into Sasuke. They had truly made him feel special, had made him feel as if his body was wanted. Sometimes they would even fight over whom to get to touch Sasuke's pale body first. Of course they hadn't been gentle with him, not even stretching his entrance or a word of warning before pushing themselves into him. It didn't matter though; the physical pain they gave him was enough to drive his other pain away at that time.

Sasuke's body was covered with bruises, cuts and scrapes from continuously getting taken on the hard, rough floor. His clothes were tattered, his lips bruised and cut, and his whole body dirty in every way possible. He spat onto the pavement, shuddering with disgust. How many times had they come in his mouth? Came all over his body? Came inside him? He could feel their sticky cum oozing out of his damaged entrance, along with some blood. They hadn't even cared that he had bled; it didn't matter, because it would be another thing that could distract him. They were rough on him, had thrust into him ruthlessly.

Naruto was always gentle with him.

The very thought had icy daggers pierce at his heart, and he gasped at the shock and pain. Anything Naruto did to him, for him, had pain come back at him tenfold. Everything horrible that he had experienced in his life bundled up together wasn't as painful as this.

Not even his family's death.

Naruto had cared for Sasuke, treated him with more caution than one would treat a treasure, more than what an archaeologist would treat his newfound artefact. His butterfly kisses, feathery touches, as gentle as it may be, made Sasuke's body go on fire, a fire that couldn't be quenched.

Naruto … the only one who had treated Sasuke right … was it just an act of sympathy?

Was he just a toy to be played?

Wincing, Sasuke shifted and stared at his arms, bandages stained with a reddish brown. Grey Eyes hadn't even bothered to take care of his arms. He had clutched them so tightly that their wounds opened up again. His wrists had bled along with his entrance when they had steadily fucked him senseless. After they had their fun, they had cleaned themselves up and left him lying there.

Sasuke should've known that he was just a temporary toy to entertain its owner while it had nothing important to do. After that, he would be left there to rot. Sasuke wanted to be loved, wanted to feel as if he had a right to live.

A thought came in his mind.

Yes. He would need Sasuke. He would want Sasuke. He would take Sasuke. He would make Sasuke feel special. He would ease Sasuke's pain away.

With a quiet grunt, Sasuke forced himself to get up, and started hobbling, his heart once again urging him to stop in his tracks, to turn around, and run to Naruto for help.

_Stop it._

His body almost gave in, his skinned knees weak, wanting so badly to approach Naruto again, to say a proper Happy Birthday he never got to say the day before. Never got to celebrate his 21st birthday, the most important one. Never got to properly confess his feelings.

_It doesn't matter. He has someone much more attractive an important to celebrate it with. _Sasuke thought back to the beautiful girl with flowing green hair and mysterious hazel eyes. The one who stared into his soul the moment he was found out.

Her red lips pulled into a wide smirk at seeing his expression.

He collapsed, this time scraping the palms of his hands and his already skinned knees, but forced himself back up despite the sharp pain down his back. No more turning back now. No more living in lies. He was sick of this fake world. Sasuke knew now, more than anyone, that his world is full of pain and tragic endings. Not love or happiness, as everyone believed it consisted of. The young Uchiha's heart so desperate to have the pain gone, yet stubborn enough to try to convince his body to turn around, to stop walking to His house.

Orochimaru's house.

* * *

There is going to be a chapter two. I'm not sure how many chapters there are, but it's going to be short.

Should I write a prequel of their relationship before this stage? If so, please write it on review. If some people do want a prequel, I should create a poll.

Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: flashbacks, naruto x ooc, a lot of oocs.**

**Note: On the last chapter, the last few lines, instead of 'stop going to orochimaru's house', I meant 'start' ... heh heh. *rubs head sheepishly* Sorry about that. Total opposite meanings. I hope I don't make any more mistakes this time!**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Naruto cursed as he went around the streets at dawn, eyes searching for a certain raven. Naruto had been looking since yesterday, when they'd last saw each other. He couldn't believe that Sasuke had such bad timing for everything. A growl rose in his throat as he looked back at the events that happened yesterday.

_The blond boy sighed as he put his hands in his pockets, a dark cloud hanging over his face. He wasn't thinking, and one small move was his downfall._

_But Sasuke was just too __**cute.**_

_With his black-blue hair naturally falling over his beautiful onyx eyes, a pink hue colouring his milky complexion, eyelashes long and dark as he looked down at his lap as he subconsciously lifted his hand to lightly brush over his bangs, as if to hide his face in them, a habit that had formed without his conscious._

_If just a tease was enough to make Sasuke look like this, hell, Naruto would tease him forever!_

"_Y-You're adorable, Sasuke." Naruto had blurted out, blue eyes widening as tan hands clasped over full lips. Naruto had been an idiot! What guy says that to another anyway? But words had just naturally tumbled out of his mouth, and he couldn't stop them. He had shut his eyes tightly, not yet ready for what Sasuke's going to say, not yet ready for the rejection. But nothing came._

_Opening his eyes slowly, Naruto had slowly turned and stared at Sasuke. Instead of seeing the famous Death Glare of the Uchiha, he had seen the raven's eyes cast down, a darker shade of red adorning his soft cheeks. If Naruto was correct, Sasuke had been embarrassed, maybe pleased. A glimmer of hope filled Naruto's heart, and at that moment, nothing could stop him from speaking his next words._

"_I … I know we swore not to have more feelings for each other than lust or friendship, b-but I … I'm sorry, but I broke that promise." Naruto had stared hard at the smaller boy, deciding that if he heard one word of rejection or one expression of disgust, Naruto would stop. To his surprise, Sasuke showed none of that._

"_But … I … It's accidental, I promise! But I … kinda li… I … Fuck it. I like you, Sasuke! A-And when I say that, I mean I like you. More than a friend. More than … a friend-with-benefit." Naruto's voice had softened with each sentence, with each word, his heart racing in his chest. His eyes had searched Sasuke's face desperately for any sign of emotion, but was met with the back of his head._

"_You … I …" Sasuke had finally spoken after a long period of silence, and for a moment Naruto thought that the shorter man was going to accept his feelings._

"_I…I hate you, dobe." With those words, Sasuke had rushed away, not even bothering glance back at the blond. Naruto had stared hard at the ground, motionless, not even registering the full blow of rejection that had hit him._

_That was yesterday._

_Now Naruto was walking around, trying not to rip his hairs out. He had been so stupid, losing Sasuke over confessing his stupid feelings. If Naruto's stupid brain had registered the fact that it was a stupid decision, he would never have done such a stupid thing._

_Frustrated with himself, Naruto sat down at a café, sighing as he ordered a cup of coffee, so caught up that he didn't notice a beautiful woman take the seat in front of him._

"_Hey, babe." Naruto jerked up, a shudder wracking throughout his body as he tensed almost immediately. It can't be. The only person who called him that was…_

_Bo, aka Beau, aka Beauty._

_Aka his ex friend with benefit._

_A nimble finger traced the lines of Naruto's jaw, red lips pulled into an alluring smirk, hazel eyes gazing into blue, almost as if staring at his soul. _

"…_B-B…" His body began heating up even though he had no more feelings for her. Not anymore. His body twitched with desire when he took in her scent; she smelt the same, like cinnamon and jasmine. Unconsciously he leaned closer. _

"_What? Did you forget your crush's name? Or am I your ex-crush now?" Bo's lips twisted up into a pout, and Naruto hated himself for getting so addicted to her smell, her lips, everything._

_Shuddering, he broke away from her trance and shook himself off, not risking to get too close to her again. "Nothing." He replied nonchalantly, and although his heart beat fast, it showed no true emotion for the beautiful girl. _

"_Am I too old for you now? I'm only 30, after all." She smiled a sickly sweet smile, and Naruto tried hard not to vomit. He kept his head turned away, not wanting to look into those eyes and be reminded of everything he did._

_Everything he was forced to do._

"_W-What do you want?" He choked out, keeping his face turned away. Why did his life always need to get worse?_

"_Aren't you happy to see me? After all, I came here to celebrate your most important birthday." She made to cup his cheek, but the blond pushed her away gently, and stood up. Thoughts of Sasuke filled his head, and now, even though his body was trained to be attracted to Bo's scent, he only found it revolting. _

"_I have no time for you." With that, he put his money on the table and left, missing the furious look that twisted Bo's face into an ugly shape._

_Naruto screamed with frustration as he tried hard not to throw his phone out the window. It had been two weeks, and Sasuke still hadn't replied to all his messages. They had seen each other during classes, and Naruto had tried desperately to reach him, but to no avail. Every time when the blond would try to catch the raven's eye, Sasuke would turn away, or find an excuse so they won't have to be alone together, or he would just quickly walk away. Recently this week Naruto hadn't seen Sasuke at all, and was starting to get worried. Naruto cursed; his birthday was today, and he wanted Sasuke to celebrate it with him. He turned 21 today, and he didn't want to spend it with anyone else. He decided that he would find Sasuke today, and he would force Sasuke to talk if he had to._

_Just as he was about to get up and start looking, there was a knock on the door, making Naruto jump to his feet. It was Sasuke, it had to be. Who else but Sasuke? His heart thumped loudly in his chest as it synced with his footsteps. He hastily opened the door, lips parted as he was about to speak out his apology-_

_-when his eyes met with alluring hazel ones._

_Naruto flinched, jumping almost two feet away. No, this wasn't what he was looking for. This wasn't what he wanted._

_Not Bo._

"_What …are you doing here?" Naruto tried hard to continue staring into the older woman's eyes. He didn't want to come off as weak, as who he was before he met Sasuke. The tall woman, with her red smirk, confidently strode up to the young man, until they were pressed up against each other. Naruto, too frozen and shocked to move, stayed motionless, and couldn't help but feel his body twitch as he breathed in Bo's scent, felt their bodies fit against each other perfectly. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes tightly as he willed his body to cool down. He was stronger than this. All those years of training him into being one of their toys would just be in vain. That was what Naruto hoped would happen._

"_It's your birthday today after all, babe." Naruto shuddered; that nickname again. He could feel her breath running down his neck, her lips nearly touching his throat._

"_Happy Birthday, baby." Her lips trailed kisses all over his neck and all over his face, until it reached his forehead._

_The part where Sasuke always kissed._

_Immediately Naruto came to his senses, and just the very memory of Sasuke was enough for him to push Bo away. Her face turned into shock._

"_I don't have time for you. I always have plans." He spoke, voice harsh. Bo's expression turned from shock into anger, and it seemed as if her hair would fly up like snakes in ire._

"_What happened to our training?" She screamed, "What happened to the years of memories we shared together? I took care of you, I made sure you ate well!" Her words might sound innocent, but there was so much behind them. Dark memories from the past flooded into Naruto's mind, the past that he wanted so badly to leave behind._

"_You … You didn't take care of me! You never loved me. You and …. And that __**man **__… raped me …" He choked out, shaking his head from side to side as he tried to shake away the images that have surfaced. "You drove away other people that I might've been friends with by spreading rumours about me … back then, I didn't know it was you, but now I do. You made my life miserable so I could cling to the __**love **__from both of you that never existed. You made me a toy that could please you in every way. You made every part of my body tainted." Naruto's body was shuddering. "For fuck's sake … fuck … I was only thirteen …" _

_His eyes were cast down, missing the satisfied look from the woman. She loved to make him feel this way, make him feel worthless. Soon enough, she would have him._

_But her plans didn't go as planned._

_Bo's sneer faded when Naruto's body stopped jerking as he lifted his eyes, and instead of the fear and lost look that she had expected in his blue eyes, there was instead confidence._

"_But someone special changed that. When I ran from you, my body, after all these years of being your __**toy, **__needed relief. I needed someone … a friend with benefit, and almost immediately, he came. We had sex countless of times, and I didn't know that I was his first. He needed someone to pay attention to him, and I needed someone to relieve my sexual frustration … at least that was what I thought I needed. But instead, I guess I needed someone to love me too…" There was a faraway look in his eyes, and a small smile on his face._

"_Although his past was twisted, his body scarred, he was still beautiful in his own way… in every way. At first he was an outright jerk, but when you get to know him, he's the sweetest thing, and very adorable too. Lust took over me the first time I saw him at a bar, but … the more I got to know him, the more I got to talk to him … the more I felt a different sort of attraction towards him. He wasn't just beautiful on the outside … he was beautiful on the inside too, in every way. My attraction towards him is nothing like mine towards yours. With you, I felt ugly and tainted, but with him, I felt pure and innocent once more. I only thought I loved you because you forced me to. I like Sasuke because I have no other choice-whoever got to know him to thoroughly like I did would like him too. I was just lucky that I was the first one who came by." _

_During Naruto's long talk about Sasuke, Bo had slipped a drug she had made between her lips, knowing that she might need it to win over Naruto. That idiot is completely infatuated with the other young man! Bo sighed; she didn't want to win him this way, but she had no other choice._

_Quickly, she smashed her lips against the slightly taller man, in the process, quietly slipping the drug that she had put between her lips onto Naruto's, then knocking him unconscious._

_As he fell to the ground, she pulled the curtains closed until the room became dark._

"_Sorry it had to be this way." She said, even though her voice left no trace of sincerity._

_Naruto opened his eyes, and was greeted with heaven._

"…_Sa…Sasuke …?" The blond sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Is that you?"_

"_Yes, Naruto." The raven spoke, his expression full of smiles, which was unusual. Sasuke never smiled this much, and when he did smile, it never looked like this._

"_S-Something wrong, teme?" Naruto squinted. There was something … a little off about Sasuke right now. Shouldn't he be angry at him? It wasn't like Sasuke to come here when they were in awkward situations, and never, ever smiling._

"_I'm just a little …" The raven was suddenly pressed up to Naruto, and his voice suddenly sounding a little … husky. "…aroused." _

_Naruto blinked in confusion. Sasuke was never this blunt about situations like these. Usually, when he was ready, he would lightly kiss Naruto's Adam's apple, then his collarbone. What has gotten into him?_

"_Uh … all ri-" Before Naruto could finish his sentence, though, Sasuke's lips were already pressed with the blond's, suddenly straddling him. _

_Yes! Bo thought as she kissed Naruto feverishly. The drug was working. She had made this drug so that the user would see Bo as someone they love. An illusion. It wouldn't work unless the user was in love with somebody, so Bo had to take the chance. _

_The blond idiot was in love after all._

_The effects of the drug was working. Soon … after they had physically connected with one another, Naruto would be Bo's forever. That was the other effect of the drug. Bo was proud of herself for successfully making it. She was pretty good at acting too, it seemed, as she had never really met Sasuke before, but Naruto still bought it._

_It was a huge risk, acting like that, but she had been successful._

"_Uhn …" She groaned as she started grinding down to Naruto. The blond grunted in response._

"_Sasuke … M-Maybe we should …" Naruto tried to push him off. Why was Sasuke being so … aggressive today? He was never like that unless he was drunk. But Naruto smelt no alcohol in his breath, tasted nothing but jasmine and cinnamon. Sasuke never smelt like that._

"_Sasuke … seriously …" The blond tried pushing this strange Sasuke off with more force, but he pressed on._

"_Un … Naruto … put it in me now …" He breathed, and Naruto could almost swear that Sasuke's voice sounded too feminine._

"…_Stop, Sasuke!" With that, Naruto pushed him as hard but then as soft as he could, and finally Sasuke was off. "What's up with you today?"_

_There was a twisted look that shown on the raven's face, but it disappeared in an instant. Naruto blinked in confusion-the ugly expression looked to hideous to be on Sasuke's face, but it looked familiar at the same time …It must've been fake. Naruto must've imagined that expression from another person onto the raven._

"…_Naruto… I-I want you …" Sasuke whimpered, and even though that was too needy to be Sasuke, Naruto didn't care. Lust took over him immediately at those words, and he pushed Sasuke down and ravished him._

_But this didn't feel right, Naruto now realised. Sasuke's lips, Sasuke's body, Sasuke's hair … His lips were too womanly, his body was too …long, and his hair too dry. Just as he was about to pull away, Sasuke's arms (ones that felt too rough) wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer._

_Too shocked with Sasuke's new … feel, and how strange he acted, and how this wasn't like Sasuke at all, Naruto didn't hear the door creak open. It was only the rustling of papers falling through the air that broke Naruto's trance. Immediately he broke himself off of this Sasuke and turned around-_

_-to see another Sasuke by the door._

_The emotion, everything, and just one glance at the raven before him made Naruto fall head over heels again._

_Yes, just in one glance, the blond was able to tell which was fake and which was not. He would smile if it weren't for a situation like this, smile at the beauty that just radiated off Sasuke._

_But Naruto couldn't, because of the utter pain that emitted through Sasuke's dark eyes along with the beauty._

_Naruto, too immersed into picturing the horror in Sasuke's expression, didn't hear the small apology that came through those lips. He could feel every word though; each syllable a thousand little pricks to his heart._

_The pain he could feel from Sasuke was too much for him._

_In a flash, Sasuke was gone, leaving behind the shock, the horror, and the pain. Naruto took a while to register, then pushing the fraud of a Sasuke off him, biting his lip from anger as he realised who it really was. _

"_Bo…" He growled out, words dripping with venom. With a swift movement, he grabbed her arm harshly, not caring right now if her arm broke. He pulled her with tremendous force, then threw her outside his apartment, stepping out and locking the door behind him. He couldn't risk her getting in-she might try something else again, that sly woman._

"_Never come here again." He spat out before taking off after the one he truly cares about._

_Naruto sprinted much faster than before, faster than he had ever run in his life. Stupid Sasuke, why did he always have to appear at the wrong time?_

_It didn't matter though, because if Naruto didn't find Sasuke now, who knows what Sasuke might do to himself._

_But no matter where and how far Naruto searched, he couldn't find Sasuke. To places where Sasuke might go, like by the lake, or by the swings of a primary school, by a restaurant, in a shop, anywhere and everywhere. Naruto still couldn't find the raven._

_Naruto searched for hours and hours, looking everywhere that Sasuke had ever been to, but his search was in vain. Naruto searched for the rest of the day, searched until midnight did he finally reach home. _

_With a sigh, he unlocked his door (relieved that Bo wasn't there) and stumbled inside the room, body heavy with fatigue. He climbed on the bed without brushing his teeth or changing his clothes, or even showering, but as he closed his eyes, he couldn't sleep. _

_After an hour or two did he finally sleep, but his dreams were filled with horrible nightmares of Sasuke, with Sasuke hurting himself again, attempting suicide, and leaving him. Ignoring him. Naruto not being able to help Sasuke. Watching as Sasuke leaned towards Darkness._

_Each time his nightmare came to an end, Naruto would wake up in cold sweat, and it was until 6am in the morning did Naruto give up on sleeping and made to search for Sasuke again._

_As the blond dragged his feet towards the kitchen, he forced his eyes to keep open as he sighed._

_So much for the most important birthday._

The blond came back with a sigh in the evening, once again his search in vain. It was the day after his birthday, and a Sunday. Naruto had classes on Monday. Maybe … Maybe Sasuke would be there. Naruto could only hope that. He could only wish that Sasuke would be there, unharmed.

He crouched down and picked up the papers that Sasuke had dropped on his birthday. It must've been something about the project they had to do together. That wasn't important now, though. He sighed; it was so like Sasuke. To pretend nothing happened if he needed to get things done, especially their projects and homework. Naruto put the papers in the drawer, not bothering with any homework right now, missing a glance of an orange envelope as he kept them away.

Not bothering to shower again, Naruto brushed his teeth and climbed onto his bed.

_Teme, you better be there tomorrow. _That was the blond's last thought before he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Naruto woke up just as his alarm clock sounded. He rubbed his eyes and hurried to take a long shower, his thoughts lingering on Sasuke. _I hope he's all right. That jerk better be. _He thought, as he hastily got ready for class.

He blinked in confusion as he walked down the hallway. Strange, since Naruto was always either late or on time. Never early. Extremely strange since Naruto was able to wake up on time but hadn't had enough sleep. _Something big must be happening today … _Naruto thought. He could almost feel it in his bones. He just prayed that Sasuke was here. If he wasn't, then Naruto would have to contact the principal and then the police.

Naruto closed his eyes as he walked in the classroom and made to take his seat. He was so accustomed to always doing things without opening his eyes that he would be fine being blind. That would be troublesome, though.

"Oi, get off my seat." A familiar voice that made Naruto cringe spoke accusingly. The blond opened his eyes and glared up at a man with black hair and red highlights.

"What if I don't, Daichi?" He spat out. He didn't want to deal with anyone right now.

"Ice prince told me I could sit next to him today." Daichi replied swiftly, a huge smirk on his face. Naruto's anger almost faded-was Sasuke really here?

"No … He… wha…" Naruto was lost for words. Hope filled inside him and he almost smiled. Daichi wouldn't lie about something like this, after all, he got beat up by Naruto once.

"That's right." Daichi must've mistaken Naruto's speechlessness as defeat and denial instead of hope. "He came in 'ere, wearin' all sexy and shit, couldn't keep mah eyes off of 'im."

"Sasuke's … here?" Sasuke couldn't be. Could he?

"Leave him alone, Daichi. He's not worth pestering." A voice came from behind. Naruto turned around, not because of the words, or because of the sudden appearance, but because of the voice itself. The smooth, velvety voice that was like music to his ears, now slightly hoarser but just brought a sort of sexiness to it, the voice that he longed to hear each morning when he woke up; the voice that he had missed after devoid of it for so long.

And when his face was brought up to look at the owner of the voice, his eyes were wide. Dark hair glossy and messy at the same time, a black tank top that contrasted to that milky pale complexion, a dark hoodie thrown over and slid down so his shoulders, giving him a sexier look than he already was; tight jeans that clung to the flesh of his perfect legs and thighs, some areas ripped to show his inviting skin. Even though it was a huge change, it was still a good change. At first glance, Naruto almost didn't recognise him. Almost.

Naruto's eyes were as big as saucepans, his nose bleeding slightly, his lips parted as he spoke out one word.

"Sasuke?"


End file.
